To new beginnings.

These last few weeks have been very difficult for me. I felt like my world was being turned upside down mainly because of two things. 1. I was in a car accident and 2. I "broke up" with my best friend. The car accident is easy enough to get past...Take my meds, see my doctor three times a week for the foreseeable future, and deal with lawyer stuff and I'll be okay.

The breaking up with my best friend... That was hard. It broke my heart. I'd been struggling for a long time trying to figure out what was the right thing to do in that situation... I hadn't been happy in quite some time though and truth be told, she probably hadn't been either for reasons that I won't get into right now... Now anyone that knows me well, knows that I am constantly taking on the burdens of other people. I'm a fixer. That's what I do, I fix things. If I have a friend having problems, I take them on and do my best to help them find a way through that problem. However in this situation...I was overloaded. I was stressed. I spent most of my time avoiding being home or crying. I spent SO much time praying for guidance. God has blessed me with some wonderful friends, and family as well, who have taught me recently that it is okay to ask for help. I can't tell you how much time I spent crying and asking Kyle, Andy, Nicole, and eventually my mom for advice on what to do. Collectively they helped me come to the decision that as much as I love my friend, she wasn't being the influence that I needed right now. She's strayed from the right path. And as much as I, as a fixer, wanted to "fix" her, it wasn't my place. It had gotten to the point where I needed to sever the ties and pray that God would work his magic. Special thanks to my friend Koree, who posted the lyric, "Sometimes the hardest the and the right thing are the same." She put this on facebook on a day when I was just about at my wits end. It helped me for sure realize what needed to be done.

This has been very difficult for me because she's been my best friend for the better part of 9 years. But when all was said and done, as sad as I was, I felt at peace. I felt as though I had done the right thing.

I've spent the last week on the beach with my family. It was very relaxing and wonderful. Now I'm home and I have to deal with real life again. So, once I can drive again, I will be returning to my house where I now have to fill the empty spaces. I think that it'll be good for me though. I'm ready for my new start. I'm ready to start having the fun that I'm supposed to be having in this time of my life. I'm ready.

Thanks to my wonderful friend Andy for reminding me of this fabulous verse.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

James 1:2-3

God is great, isn't he?

Bring on CHRISTmas. =]

Update

I went to the chiropractor today. I found out that I have a bunch of torn ligaments in my neck and around my spine. It will take me at least 12 weeks before I even start feeling better. That means 12 weeks more of wearing a neck brace. Lovely. I am so luck though. The doctor told me that had I seen the accident coming, I would have tensed up and probably would have broken my neck. How lucky am I?

On a brighter note, Thanksgiving is next week and I get to spend the week on a beach with a beautiful baby. I'm so excited.

Things I'm thankful for: Good friends, parents that take care of me, and good medicine.

Thank you God.

So this past week has been...

...difficult to say the least. I was in a fairly bad car accident. Three cars were involved. I was sitting at a light. My light was green, but the light in front of mine was red so traffic was backed up and I couldn't go. Someone apparently was not paying attention and didn't see that traffic had stopped. She hit the car behind me, forcing them into me. The impact of the car hitting me was at 45mph which means that car number 1 had to have been going at least 55 in a 40mph zone. The impact was hard enough that it pushed me a good 200 yards. I coasted into a parking lot, but was unable to move my legs. They were pinned. Luckily, they weren't pinned badly and it was one leg pinned under the other, so it was nearly as bad as it could have been. Well, I've never been good in situations such as this, so I called my mother. I was in tears and I was hysterical. I don't know that I've ever been able to use that term literally, but this time, I was literally hysterical. I was having trouble controlling my breathing and I was freaked out because it hurt to move my legs. I had to be taken out of my car by firemen and was loaded onto a stretcher and had a brace put on my neck and was taken to the ER via ambulance. I can't even begin to tell you how nervous I was getting that something was really bad. I was stuck on my back in the ER for 4 hours waiting on results from my cat scan and x-rays. They all came back clear. I was released with a prescription for Hydrocodone, a knee immobilizer, and crutches. Five days later and one follow up visit later, I'm still in the knee immobilizer, utilizing crutches, wearing a neck brace, and on Hydros and muscle relaxers. I have a visit with a chiropractor on Wednesday and another visit to the Orthopedic doctor on the 29th. My knee is supposed to be okay. The doctor said he's pretty sure that it's just a deep bone bruise which could take up to 6 weeks to heal. I'm not sure what's going on with my neck yet, but we're pretty sure that it's just tissue and muscle damage. Our only worry is that I'll have neck problems later in life... However, we're hoping that my chiropractor will be able to prevent this.

To all you people out there that don't believe in God or angels... listen up. There are SO many things that could have gone differently. I could have easily been pushed into oncoming traffic. I could have broken my knee or neck. I could have been shoved into another car. Don't tell me that there weren't angels watching over me that night.

I thank God for his protection...Not only his protection of me, but of the people in the other cars. None of the children in the first car were hurt. The people in the car behind me are doing okay as far as I know, and I hopefully won't have any long lasting damage. Even if I do...at least I'm alive. Thank you Jesus for sending your angels to watch over us that night. You are so awesome.

And to all of my friends: Thank you guys so much for your get well wishes and your love. You guys are wonderful and I love each and every one of you. Thanks for caring about me. =]

Somebody to Love

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Each morning I get up I die a little

Can barely stand on my feet

Take a look in the mirror and cry

Lord what you're doing to me

I have spent all my years in believing you

But I just can't get no relief, Lord!

Somebody, somebody

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I work hard every day of my life

I work till I ache my bones

At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -

I get down on my knees

And I start to pray

Till the tears run down from my eyes

Lord - somebody - somebody

Can anybody find me - somebody to love?

(He works hard)

Everyday - I try and I try and I try -

But everybody wants to put me down

They say I'm goin' crazy

They say I got a lot of water in my brain

Got no common sense

I got nobody left to believe

Yeah - yeah yeah yeah

Oh Lord

Somebody - somebody

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Got no feel, I got no rhythm

I just keep losing my beat

I'm ok, I'm alright

Ain't gonna face no defeat

I just gotta get out of this prison cell

Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!

Find me somebody to love

Can anybody find me somebody to love?