Gilmore Girls, in my opinion, has got to be one of the absolute best shows of all time. It will forever be a favorite of mine.
-[Lorelai's having Rory]
Young Lorelai: Okay, this is a big pain and I'd really like it to go away, please.Nurse: Just breathe deep, honey.
Young Lorelai: Breathing doesn't help, can I hit you instead?
Nurse: What?
Young Lorelai: Or pinch you really hard, 'cause that might make me feel better.
Nurse: No, you cannot hit me.
Young Lorelai: Can I bite you or pull your hair or use the Epilady on you 'cause I really need to do something.
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Lorelai: What happened? The reception on the phone sucked. All I heard was "Rory" and "Chilton" and "Get down here." Whose butt do I have to kick?
Rory: We didn't go to breakfast.
Lorelai: What are you talking about?
Rory: We came here. They broke into the headmaster's office as the big initiation.
Lorelai: Ugh, those stupid girls.
Rory: Uh huh. Part of the initiation was ringing a bell. So, that's what I was doing when security showed up and they called you.
Lorelai: That's what you got busted for? That's it? Bell-ringing?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Were you at least smoking a Cuban cigar while you were doing it?
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: No, I mean, "bad girl, how many times have I told you not to ring bells?"
Rory: [interrupting] Let's go.
Lorelai: [continuing] "They can dent, or scratch, and they make dogs go crazy. Who do you think you are, the Hunchback of Notre Dame? Are you French? Circular? I don't think so."
Rory: I'm walking to the car now.
Lorelai: [later] Was it a big bell at least?
Rory: We didn't go to breakfast.
Lorelai: What are you talking about?
Rory: We came here. They broke into the headmaster's office as the big initiation.
Lorelai: Ugh, those stupid girls.
Rory: Uh huh. Part of the initiation was ringing a bell. So, that's what I was doing when security showed up and they called you.
Lorelai: That's what you got busted for? That's it? Bell-ringing?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Were you at least smoking a Cuban cigar while you were doing it?
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: No, I mean, "bad girl, how many times have I told you not to ring bells?"
Rory: [interrupting] Let's go.
Lorelai: [continuing] "They can dent, or scratch, and they make dogs go crazy. Who do you think you are, the Hunchback of Notre Dame? Are you French? Circular? I don't think so."
Rory: I'm walking to the car now.
Lorelai: [later] Was it a big bell at least?
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Lorelai: Can I use the fun cutter thingy?
Luke: Not if you call it the fun cutter thingy.
Lorelai: Please?
Luke: Cut the boxes, not your hands.
Lorelai: Good tip, you should teach!
Luke: Not if you call it the fun cutter thingy.
Lorelai: Please?
Luke: Cut the boxes, not your hands.
Lorelai: Good tip, you should teach!
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Rory: Oh, I'm sorry. You wanted a party? I told everyone you didn't want to make a big deal out of your birthday this year.
Lorelai: You're not funny.
Rory: Ms. Patty and Babette wanted to hire these two hot guys to carry you around all day and feed you Bon-Bons, and Kirk wanted to hire the Red Hot Chili Peppers to play a concert in the square, but I said "Hey, please, respect the lady's wishes. She deserves that at her age.'"
Lorelai: Why are you so cruel to mama?
Rory: I have to go.
Lorelai: Where?
Rory: None of your business.
Lorelai: You *are* planning something for Friday night, aren't you?
Rory: I'll bring back Chinese for dinner.
Lorelai: And you tell people, no matter what they say, I just couldn't accept a new car. It would be beneath me and I would be completely humiliated. And a convertible would just make me fling myself off a building!
Rory: Bye.
Lorelai: You're not funny.
Rory: Ms. Patty and Babette wanted to hire these two hot guys to carry you around all day and feed you Bon-Bons, and Kirk wanted to hire the Red Hot Chili Peppers to play a concert in the square, but I said "Hey, please, respect the lady's wishes. She deserves that at her age.'"
Lorelai: Why are you so cruel to mama?
Rory: I have to go.
Lorelai: Where?
Rory: None of your business.
Lorelai: You *are* planning something for Friday night, aren't you?
Rory: I'll bring back Chinese for dinner.
Lorelai: And you tell people, no matter what they say, I just couldn't accept a new car. It would be beneath me and I would be completely humiliated. And a convertible would just make me fling myself off a building!
Rory: Bye.
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Emily: You were on the phone?
Richard: Long distance.
Lorelai: God?
Richard: London.
Lorelai: God lives in London?
Richard: My mother lives in London.
Lorelai: Your mother is God?
Richard: Lorelai...
Lorelai: So, God *is* a woman.
Richard: Lorelai.
Lorelai: *And* a relative. That's so cool. I'm gonna totally ask for favors.
Richard: Make her stop.
Rory: Oh, that I could.
Richard: Long distance.
Lorelai: God?
Richard: London.
Lorelai: God lives in London?
Richard: My mother lives in London.
Lorelai: Your mother is God?
Richard: Lorelai...
Lorelai: So, God *is* a woman.
Richard: Lorelai.
Lorelai: *And* a relative. That's so cool. I'm gonna totally ask for favors.
Richard: Make her stop.
Rory: Oh, that I could.
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Luke: Rory's not here yet.
Lorelai: Then you'll have to entertain me until she arrives. Okay Burger boy, dance.
Luke: Will you marry me?
[Lorelai is taken aback]
Luke: Just looking for something to shut you up.
Lorelai: Then you'll have to entertain me until she arrives. Okay Burger boy, dance.
Luke: Will you marry me?
[Lorelai is taken aback]
Luke: Just looking for something to shut you up.
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Lorelai: Hey, you didn't wake me up.
Rory: I set the clock.
Lorelai: Yes, but see, the clock stops ringing once I throw it against the wall giving me ample time to fall back to sleep. You, however, never stop yapping no matter how hard I throw you, thus insuring the wake up process.
Rory: I set the clock.
Lorelai: Yes, but see, the clock stops ringing once I throw it against the wall giving me ample time to fall back to sleep. You, however, never stop yapping no matter how hard I throw you, thus insuring the wake up process.
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Lorelai: Heh, you know what I just realized? "Oy" is the funniest word in the entire world.
Rory: Hmm.
Lorelai: I mean think about it, you never hear the word "oy" and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word.
Emily: Oh dear God.
Lorelai: "Poodle" is another funny word.
Emily: Please drink your drink, Lorelai.
Lorelai: In fact, if you put "oy" and "poodle" together, in the same sentence, you'd have a great new catchphrase, you know? Like, "Oy with the poodles already."
Rory: Hehe.
Lorelai: So from now on, when the perfect circumstances arise, we will use our favorite new catchphrase:
Rory: Oy with the poodles already.
Lorelai: I'm telling you, it's knocking "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?" right out of first place.
Rory: Hmm.
Lorelai: I mean think about it, you never hear the word "oy" and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word.
Emily: Oh dear God.
Lorelai: "Poodle" is another funny word.
Emily: Please drink your drink, Lorelai.
Lorelai: In fact, if you put "oy" and "poodle" together, in the same sentence, you'd have a great new catchphrase, you know? Like, "Oy with the poodles already."
Rory: Hehe.
Lorelai: So from now on, when the perfect circumstances arise, we will use our favorite new catchphrase:
Rory: Oy with the poodles already.
Lorelai: I'm telling you, it's knocking "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?" right out of first place.
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Lorelai: I think I have gangrene.
Rory: You do not.
Lorelai: And vertigo.
Rory: Oh boy.
Lorelai: And one leg suddenly feels shorter than the other.
Rory: This is gonna be the Vanity Fair paper cut incident all over again, isn't it?
Rory: You do not.
Lorelai: And vertigo.
Rory: Oh boy.
Lorelai: And one leg suddenly feels shorter than the other.
Rory: This is gonna be the Vanity Fair paper cut incident all over again, isn't it?
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Luke: The truth hurts.
Lorelai: No, you know what hurts. Having a screwdriver jammed in the side of your head.
Lorelai: No, you know what hurts. Having a screwdriver jammed in the side of your head.
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[many alarm clocks go off]
Lorelai: You are hilarious.
[Going down the stairs]
Lorelai: Okay, see, last night when I said to you: "Tomorrow, no matter what, make sure I get up at seven," what I actually meant was: "tomorrow, no matter what, make sure I have the option of getting up seven, in case, when seven comes, I actually wanna get up." Which, as it happen, I didn't. Therefore, you're currently responsible for the great alarm clock slaughter of 2002.
Luke: No survivor?
Lorelai: The one shaped like a bunny escaped with a mild decapitation.
Lorelai: You are hilarious.
[Going down the stairs]
Lorelai: Okay, see, last night when I said to you: "Tomorrow, no matter what, make sure I get up at seven," what I actually meant was: "tomorrow, no matter what, make sure I have the option of getting up seven, in case, when seven comes, I actually wanna get up." Which, as it happen, I didn't. Therefore, you're currently responsible for the great alarm clock slaughter of 2002.
Luke: No survivor?
Lorelai: The one shaped like a bunny escaped with a mild decapitation.
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Lorelai: My life stinks. Hey, let's look into each other's eyes and say "I wish I were you" at exactly the same time - maybe we'll pull a Freaky Friday.
Rory: Or we can just pretend that we did and you can go around acting really immature. Oh, wait...
Lorelai: I can't believe you won't switch bodies with me.
Rory: Forget it. Then I'd have to date Kirk.
Rory: Or we can just pretend that we did and you can go around acting really immature. Oh, wait...
Lorelai: I can't believe you won't switch bodies with me.
Rory: Forget it. Then I'd have to date Kirk.
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Rory: We go. We look. Hi Yale. Bye Yale. It's over. No harm. No foul.
Lorelai: How many more two-word sentences can you come up with?
Lorelai: How many more two-word sentences can you come up with?
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Lorelai: Lately I've been having these dark premonitions.
Rory: About what?
Luke: [handing Rory and Lorelai their food] Dead cow... and dead cow.
Lorelai: That's weird.
Rory: He's always weird.
Lorelai: No, I mean my premonitions have been about death... about *my* death.
Rory: I don't want to hear this!
Lorelai: And the thing is, they're all silly.
Rory: What do you mean silly?
Lorelai: In one, I slip on a banana peel and fall into a giant vat of whipped cream.
Rory: Silly and fattening.
Lorelai: In another, a turtle eats me.
Rory: A turtle? How?
Lorelai: Very slowly. There's *lots* of chewing.
Rory: And in your premonition you didn't run away from what is perhaps the slowest land animal on earth?
Lorelai: His first bite injects me with immobilizing poison.
Rory: Well, you left that part out.
Lorelai: This last one's a little more gory. I'm hunting...
Rory: [interrupts] A favorite Lorelai Gilmore pastime.
Lorelai: ...and my shotgun backfires. My whole face spins around a bunch of times and winds up in the back of my head like Daffy Duck.
Rory: That's the silliest one yet!
Lorelai: Now if that's how I go, you have to promise to move my face back to the front of my head like Daffy did with his beak.
Rory: I should really be writing this down.
Lorelai: You can remember to move my face to the front of my head.
Rory: It depends on what I have going on that week.
Rory: About what?
Luke: [handing Rory and Lorelai their food] Dead cow... and dead cow.
Lorelai: That's weird.
Rory: He's always weird.
Lorelai: No, I mean my premonitions have been about death... about *my* death.
Rory: I don't want to hear this!
Lorelai: And the thing is, they're all silly.
Rory: What do you mean silly?
Lorelai: In one, I slip on a banana peel and fall into a giant vat of whipped cream.
Rory: Silly and fattening.
Lorelai: In another, a turtle eats me.
Rory: A turtle? How?
Lorelai: Very slowly. There's *lots* of chewing.
Rory: And in your premonition you didn't run away from what is perhaps the slowest land animal on earth?
Lorelai: His first bite injects me with immobilizing poison.
Rory: Well, you left that part out.
Lorelai: This last one's a little more gory. I'm hunting...
Rory: [interrupts] A favorite Lorelai Gilmore pastime.
Lorelai: ...and my shotgun backfires. My whole face spins around a bunch of times and winds up in the back of my head like Daffy Duck.
Rory: That's the silliest one yet!
Lorelai: Now if that's how I go, you have to promise to move my face back to the front of my head like Daffy did with his beak.
Rory: I should really be writing this down.
Lorelai: You can remember to move my face to the front of my head.
Rory: It depends on what I have going on that week.
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Rory: Who are the rosary beads for?
Lorelai: They're mine.
Rory: What do you need rosary beads for?
Lorelai: They're cute.
Rory: They're for prayer.
Lorelai: Well, pray they match my blue suit.
Rory: They've just upgraded you to a queen-size bed, jacuzzi tub, junior suite in hell.
Lorelai: They're mine.
Rory: What do you need rosary beads for?
Lorelai: They're cute.
Rory: They're for prayer.
Lorelai: Well, pray they match my blue suit.
Rory: They've just upgraded you to a queen-size bed, jacuzzi tub, junior suite in hell.
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Lorelai: How ya doing there, champ?
Rory: Early.
Lorelai: Yes, it's a tad early.
Rory: No sun.
Lorelai: Well, he's not up yet.
Rory: Early.
Lorelai: Yes, it's a tad early.
Rory: No sun.
Lorelai: Well, he's not up yet.
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Rory: When is dinner ready?
Lorelai: Do I look like a timer?
Rory: I thought you might have set one.
Lorelai: Silly rabbit.
Rory: Timers are for kids
Lorelai: Do I look like a timer?
Rory: I thought you might have set one.
Lorelai: Silly rabbit.
Rory: Timers are for kids
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Lorelai: 'Mom, I'm getting married.' I'm an idiot. And you know, as my mouth was opening my mind was screaming, 'Don't do it, I mean it, you'll regret it.' But did my mouth listen?
Rory: No.
Lorelai: No. And it opened and the words came out, and Emily was Emily, and my mouth was stunned. And my mind said 'I told you so.' And then my mouth got mad because no mouth like's to have it's nose rubbed in it. And now my mind and my mouth aren't talking, and it'll be weeks before we can get the boys together again.
Rory: Your mouth has a nose?
Rory: No.
Lorelai: No. And it opened and the words came out, and Emily was Emily, and my mouth was stunned. And my mind said 'I told you so.' And then my mouth got mad because no mouth like's to have it's nose rubbed in it. And now my mind and my mouth aren't talking, and it'll be weeks before we can get the boys together again.
Rory: Your mouth has a nose?
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Luke: So, back from the ball huh?
Lorelai: Yes, I left behind a glass slipper and a business card in case the prince is really dumb.
Luke: Good and desperate thinking.
Lorelai: Thank you.
Lorelai: Yes, I left behind a glass slipper and a business card in case the prince is really dumb.
Luke: Good and desperate thinking.
Lorelai: Thank you.
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Lorelai: Luke, we sleep around here. Okay, we like it. It makes us pretty and keeps us from killing our crazy friends.
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Lorelai: Hey, I should bring steak sauce, right?
Rory: For what?
Lorelai: Pizza.
Rory: I just got back from Italy.
Lorelai: So?
Rory: So they'd shoot you in Italy for that.
Lorelai: Ah, but this is America, where we unapologetically bastardize other countries' cultures in a gross quest for moral and military supremacy.
Rory: I forgot. Bring on the imperialistic condiments
Rory: For what?
Lorelai: Pizza.
Rory: I just got back from Italy.
Lorelai: So?
Rory: So they'd shoot you in Italy for that.
Lorelai: Ah, but this is America, where we unapologetically bastardize other countries' cultures in a gross quest for moral and military supremacy.
Rory: I forgot. Bring on the imperialistic condiments
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Lorelai: [while on the phone with each other, Lorelei and Rory are watching their Roombas together] Is this more or less fun than watching the same TV show at the same time?
Rory: I think more.
Lorelai: If we were to die right now and decompose, they would vacuum us up. No one would ever know.
Rory: Freaky.
Rory: I think more.
Lorelai: If we were to die right now and decompose, they would vacuum us up. No one would ever know.
Rory: Freaky.
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Lorelai: Stop saying "mother" like that.
Rory: Like what?
Lorelai: Like there should be another word after it.
Rory: Like what?
Lorelai: Like there should be another word after it.
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Lorelai:Oh I can't stop drinking the coffee...I stop drinking the coffee, I stop doing the standing and walking and the words putting into sentence...doing.
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